I’m actually a little sad about it. True, I haven’t participated daily (who has time for that I mean honestly) but it has been a blast sharing looks with you guys.
This week was a doozy. I’m not sure why I’ve just been in kind of a crappy headspace. It happens to the best of us. But I really needed to use this weekend to re-center myself and do some self-care and that, my darlings, is exactly what I did.
My closest loves and I went to our favorite little wine spot in town (that is finally open on Saturday during the day praise the goddess!) and drank an exorbitant amount of cheap/strong mimosas ($6 a carafe are you kidding me) and ate pizza.
Then we went to Target and departed to our homes for a nap. We swear that we’re in our late 20’s and not our mid 50’s.
It was also in the high 80’s outside because seasons mean nothing, but that at least meant I got to get hella cute in this ModCloth blouse I snagged for a steal:
I mean just look at all the CATS!
Bless ModCloth and their sales. One day I swear I will make a post about being a bargain babe because I honestly never buy things at full price.
But today, Sunday, I am fully content with not putting on pants and not leaving my house.
It’s been a weird few days for me. I’ve been in a cruddy headspace and just generally blah.
BUT there was a light at the end of the tunnel, for the first time in a decade I got to see one of my absolute favorite bands, AFI. The last time I saw them I was a wee babe at 16 sweating my ass off at Warped Tour and I have to say that they were just as amazing last night as they were 10 years ago. Not to mention my look was worlds better than it was back then:
And I love the opportunity to rock pieces from some fabulous women-owned businesses like this killer Witch Worldwide crop and this perfect bat necklace from my favorite local spot in San Marcos, Texas Bower Bird (seriously if you’re ever in the area do yourself a favor and check them out).
Of course, there were a few drunk white guys getting way too damn pushy, my body hates me, and my ears are still ringing but it was so worth it.
Social media is a tricky place. I talked a bit about this in my first post here but we often have a tendency to curate our images in these spaces to be ones that are exceptionally flattering. That isn’t always a bad thing, we should be able to choose the sides of ourselves that make us feel the most empowered and happy. But personally, I think it’s important to dissect why we find certain things to be flattering, is it because we are still adhering to what society says is acceptable or are we doing what makes us happy. If it’s the latter awesome! That’s what your space should be about, making you happy; but if your definition of flattering is based on what society says is ok it may be time to push those boundaries.
For me, those boundaries are linked to representation. Even now that we see far more plus size bodies represented than we used to very few of them look like me or any of the other fat folks I know. There’s an ‘acceptable’ way to be fat now and trust I am not it. I have small boobs, a fat face, my tummy is large, I have back fat, and I’m short. By most rules of ‘flattering,’ I should basically wear a muumuu, hide forever, or only show certain sides but I say fuck flattering. I’m fat from every side and I want to celebrate my body. I want people who are outside the ‘acceptable’ boundaries to feel empowered and represented.
So here’s me, fat from the front:
All that VBO.
Here’s me, fat from the side:
And here’s my back fat representing:
Rolls on rolls on rolls y’all!
The point I’m getting at is that you should make yourself happy no matter what. If you want to wear a back fat bearing crop top DO IT, if you prefer to dress more modestly DO IT, just make sure that whatever you do you’re doing it for you and not because you feel like you have to follow some rule book.
I hope you guys are loving Fatshion February as much as I am!
For those that don’t know let me fill you in: I live in Texas. I hate it. And one of the major reasons I hate it (that isn’t politics or culture related) it THE GODDAMN LACK OF SEASONS! I mean look at me, I’m in shorts on February 8th:
Don’t get it twisted, this look gave me life today (because after 2 nights of shit sleep something needed to), I felt adorable rocking all my VBO but ugh I have so many cute cozy looks that I’m dying to wear.
I’m sure if I had lived my whole life in a place where it’s always cold I’d be singing a different song at the thermometer reading 85 degrees but after 27 years I’m over it. I think that’s why despite it being February I went for something that has a Fall vibe, you know, rebelling against the blasphemous weather while not dying of heatstroke.
Beyond my angst about the weather, this look feels really empowering to me. There was a time not so long ago that I wouldn’t be caught dead with VBO, every top had to cover my belly outline and if it didn’t I hated it. Now, I will happily admit there are still times I struggle with showing off my VBO, and that is ok, you’re not going to feel… brazen (see what I did there =P) all the time. But, I encourage you to embrace it when you do feel it, don’t run from your boldness just dive into it and roll around in it, trust me people will notice how empowered you look/feel and you may just inspire them too.
Now for some fun outtakes because I’m an actual ham 95% of the time:
When I was a teen my aesthetic was unquestionably “Poor Kid Goth.” Add to that the fat element and I had to make some… creative choices. Now that the world of plus size fashion has expanded I’m able to flex those mosh pit honed muscles once again and create looks I never dreamed I could back then.
It also lets me flex my silver tongue a bit because while the world of plus size fashion has grown the minds of men haven’t.
In my formative years it wasn’t my dress size that drew ire (I’m maybe a size larger than I was then), it was my fashion choices, and I have to report that in the 10+ years since I walked the halls of my high school as an angsty sophomore jackasses still think it’s a good idea to comment on my looks.
Today when I was leaving class a rather fratty looking boy (I’m 27 so most of the males I encounter on my university’s campus are boys to me) quipped, “Ooooo, are you gonna hex me?”
Admittedly I was proud he used the term ‘hex’ since it’s so much more creative than ‘curse’ but that only gets you so far. I looked him in the eye and said, “I wasn’t planning on it but I’m sure I can pencil you in,” stared a moment longer, and sauntered off. Cowards never know what to do when you aren’t flustered by them.
Moving on from dumbfounded boys.
Since I didn’t make a post for the weekend I thought I’d give you a recap:
Saturday I grabbed a couple of glasses of wine with some of my favorite people in the world and rocked a whole different side of me that my best friend (and regular photographer) has coined “Spinster Chic.” My lady best featured here also got all dolled up. HOW GORGEOUS IS SHE I MEAN REALLY STAHP!
I also channeled some of my political rage into some hard femme embroidery pieces:
No Sunday look because I honestly spent all day in my ratty pj shirt and embroidered and made Sunday Sauce so… yeah.
I think I first saw Margot Meanie rocking this baby sometime last year and I immediately needed it in my life; of course, it was sold out. Then many months later they finally restocked it and I didn’t think twice about adding it to my wardrobe.
Every single time I wear this a woman tells me she loves it. I think there’s something about a piece of clothing that nicely tells people to fuck off that women are just naturally drawn to.
And this being Fatshion February let’s take a moment to appreciate these fat rolls! I’d say a majority of the photos I have of myself are either selfies or I’m standing and part of this whole body love journey is loving yourself from every perspective. I remember hating how I looked in the random photo that would pop up of me sitting down because of those rolls but now I love photos like this because, hey, fuck it this is what I look like when I’m sitting. Mind you this took some time, learning to love your body for what it is instead of hating it for what it isn’t is a long journey, but when you get over those big hurdles it feels amazing.
And for funsies here are some outtakes because I’m kind of ridiculous (thank god my photographer human likes me):
It’s quite possibly one of my favorite times of the year, Fatshion February!
Many Americans, myself included, are feeling incredibly overwhelmed due to our current administration. When things are so bleak it’s really important to remember the things that bring you joy and for me one of those things is fashion.
Admittedly, when I feel overwhelmed, as I have these past few weeks, it can be hard to do something as seemingly frivolous as getting dressed up. I always end up thinking, “There is SO much more to worry about than what I’m wearing…” and I end up looking like a bedraggled swamp monster. Mind you, there is nothing wrong with looking like a bedraggled swamp monster, in fact, I often enjoy nothing more than a full-fledged swamp monster weekend, but when I’m in that mode simply because I feel like I’m drowning I hate it. I think this is why I’m incredibly pumped for Fatshion February this year. Don’t get me wrong, it’s always fun to participate in FF (save for the inevitable trolls but eh fuck ’em) but this year I feel like I need the push, the inspiration, the reason, to get me to do this important bit of my self-care routine.
Anyhoo, to the fun fatshion part!
You’re going to hear this a lot throughout this month and throughout the life of this blog I’m sure: I LOVE RUE21! Their plus size selection is fun, cheap, and comfortable and for me, that’s what I need in my life. I snagged this killer little (and by little I def mean short, I’m 5’5″ and a gentle breeze threatens to give folks a show) swing dress from them recently for like $12 online and I would live in it if I could. First off HOLY SOFTNESS BATMAN! It feels like the softest most amazing thing you’ve ever worn and then some but it’s not too heavy, which considering I live in Texas is great. This is also one of those personal victory pieces for me. Being incredibly pear-shaped I’ve always struggled feeling comfortable in something that doesn’t have a defined waist so YAY to telling traditional rules for what’s flattering to jump off a cliff.
I also have to give Sock Dreams a shoutout, these socks are technically thigh highs but they come up to my knee and with my fat legs, that’s a feat. I have had them for a while so I honestly don’t remember what kind they are but Sock Dreams is worth checking out if you haven’t already.
I can’t wait to see everyone’s looks this month and beyond!